bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize