"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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