Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
