Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
