the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Found your dick twin last night
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
