super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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