dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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