Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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