dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
