You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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