i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
