Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
