I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize