scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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