He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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