I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
