have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize