My girlfriend figured out who you are.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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