he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
