I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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