Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
