What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
