Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
