Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
