Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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