I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
God I need to hump something, right now.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
