First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
