great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize