Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
