he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Is Oprah even human
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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