If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
