You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
