If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
