i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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