i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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