it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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