A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize