No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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