I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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