HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize