We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
