my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
