I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
