Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
