apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize