Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I made him laugh his dick is mine
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
