This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
