You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
