At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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