omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
