six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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