She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize