I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Vodka?
Forever.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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