Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
