she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I could make wine with my vomit
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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