i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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