So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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