No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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